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My Cleanse Adventure / Part I

I keep hearing about these cleanses - how they’re good for you and how they have helped people with all sorts of issues - from losing weight, to curing cancer!

When I hear “cleanse”, I picture some new-age spa where a woman in a white lab coat leads me into a room decorated with pictures of Buddha. She orders me to undress and put on a hospital robe (you know the kind). Next thing I know I’m laying on my stomach with some guy named Bjorn about to put a double latte frappuccino someplace I don’t care to publish. The other vision I have is of some (already too skinny) celebrity drinking a weird concoction of lemonade made with cayenne pepper …eeww.

You could say my idea of a cleanse is slightly skewed but I did find a great explanation on Wisegeek.com. This is their definition - “A cleanse is a health regimen designed to remove toxins from the body. Some cleanses target the entire body, while other focus on specific organs such as the liver, kidneys, or skin. In most cases, a cleanse requires a temporary radical change of diet, although some cleanses are designed to help people transition to a healthier diet. Many proponents of natural health engage in regular body cleanses to improve their health and treat underlying medical issues. Cleanses are also used as a weight loss tool in some communities, while others engage in body cleanses as a spiritual activity.”

That sounds pretty good but now the question is… Do these cleanses actually work? Do they do what they claim? Follow me on this adventure as I research the different cleanses and their claims. I’m going to pick the one I think is best and try it for myself. Let’s see what the fuss is all about and if these “toxin removers” really work. Stay tuned!

…follow the entire adventure here.

My Cleanse Adventure / Part II

As it turns out, most cleanses are designed to just clean out the intestinal tract and colon.  I guess I thought a cleanse was something that would clean out my entire body - like a lasagna, margarita and nicotine exorcism.   There are  total body cleanses but these are much more involved than I think I’m ready for.  These type of  cleanses claim to clean out your liver, lungs, gallbladder, kidneys, lymph nodes, blood, and skin, bringing your body “into its original homeostatic state.”   The one caveat is that they last several weeks and are really strict in their diet (starvation diet!).   It  honestly  sounds like hell to me so I’ll just stick with the simple colon cleanse.

Now… I reviewed a dozens colon cleanses on the internet.  My personal favorite is ColonBlow. (The name says it all!) OK, maybe not.  It was tough steering through all the ads and websites.  I got the feeling a lot of these “reviews” were written by the manufactures themselves.   Finding the right cleanse is going to be tough (NOTE: please stop sending me emails to try out your cleanses.) I’m going to continue my research and ask around in the fitness circles to see what other health experts (who I know and trust) recommend.  Whatever cleanse I decide to try needs to meet a few criteria:

1. A name that instills confidence that I am doing something good for myself. (sorry ColonBlow!)

2. Is it safe? My cleanse needs to be all-natural and herb based. I want the purest and highest quality ingredients that are free from damaging chemical additives or artificial ingredients.

3. Don’t give me any outrageous claims. If you tell me your cleanse will give me 20/20 vision and that I will be able to levitate off the ground – forget it.

4. I am experimenting with this to draw my own professional conclusion but I don’t want to waste my time or yours (the reader). I want a cleanse that the majority of people who have tried it, like – even if the results were minimal.

…follow the entire adventure here.

My cleanse adventure part III

After a lot of research, I found a cleanse I’m ready to try. It’s from a company called Blessed Herbs. The funny thing is that I didn’t find this one on-line. Blessed Herbs never came up in any of my Google searches. This cleanse was recommended to me by a few friends who had actually done it themselves. I was having trouble deciding which cleanse to try because all I kept finding was crap. I went to the blessedherbs.com and within 2 minutes I was sold. They have pictures of customers and the crap (literally) that was flushed out of their system.  Besides the funny testimonial, the information on the site came across as genuine and very knowledgeable. Their products are all-natural, and claim to be gentle on the body, which makes sense to me.  On top  of that, their ingredients are certified organic. Now, I don’t want to hype up this company too much. I have no idea if their stuff is going to make me sick or what, but they did give me a good first impression.  That’s  important.  Let’s see what happens.

I received my package and read the directions. This is how it’s going down…
I start with 3 days of pre-cleansing, where I cut out meats, dairy, fried food and …caffeine. (Ugh!). In addition, I’ll need to reduce the amount of food I eat each day so by the third day I’m eating hardly anything. (This is going to hurt). I will also be taking these pills which are supposed to help me poop regularly. They say I need at least 3 good bowel movements per day before I start the actual cleanse. I have to figure out how many pills I need to take every night to have my 3 regular bowel movements. Lucky for me I’m already pretty regular because these pills are big and not easy to swallow. After the pre-cleanse I will be on a strict liquid diet for 5 days. Every three hours I must drink a mix of apple juice and a packet of the “blessed herbs.” This will be all I am allowed to consume for those 5 days. I also need to drink lots of water and continue to take “my number” of poop, pills.

Ok, seriously …what the heck have I gotten myself into?  Don’t forget to come back for Part IV, where this “Cleanse Adventure” truly begins.

…follow the entire adventure here.

My cleanse adventure part IV

Today is day 4 of my cleanse. Actually, it’s the 1st day of the liquid-only portion. I’ve been preparing for this the last three days by eating a little less and completely eliminating dairy, meat and coffee. My head was pounding for a solid 12 hours the first day! …but I was expecting it. I drink 24oz of coffee almost every day, so I knew my body would let me know it was not happy. Yes, it hurts, but the good thing about coffee withdrawal is that it only lasts a day or two. Then it’s like you never missed it…for me at least.

Restricting my calorie intake was way harder than I anticipated. I like to eat. Although I was supposed to eat 1/4 of my normal calorie intake on that 3rd day of my pre-cleanse, I probably ate more like 1/2 of a normal day. I figure since I’m not eating meat or dairy (which take several days to fully digest) I would be fine.

Tomorrow I eliminate all food.  Boy I can’t wait.  Not!

….follow the entire adventure here.