Nimble Blog

Love and Attachment

Ahh…Valentine’s Day. A celebration of love. A chance to spend cash on stuff that nobody needs, and often a cause of heartache. Love is tricky – both for those who are in a relationship and those who want to be in one.

If attachment breeds suffering, as the Buddha taught, then what should we do about love, the greatest attachment of all? Are we born to suffer if we don’t find a lover? We all long for the security of being with a person who’ll love us back. Our egos are satisfied when we feel loved. In our society, we’ve become attuned to acquiring things and judging our success by those things: money, a high-status job, a house. We can become attached to the idea of love in the same way, measuring our status as a person by our love lives. We’re flying high when our relationships go well, suffering when they fail.

Is it possible to experience love without attachment? Well…that depends on how we experience love. If we think of love as something that we have to get, than it can just as easily be lost, and we’ll suffer as a result. If instead we think of love as a way of being, the rules change. Love becomes active, not passive. Love becomes a daily experience, not something we have to find in someone else.

If this concept sounds kind of unrealistic, I believe it is much easier in practice. Whether it’s giving time to your kids or giving a donation to Haiti, we act with love all the time! Americans happen to be an incredibly generous people, especially when inspired by loss or need. Turn that same generosity towards yourself and those closest to you – in other words, act with love instead of searching for love- and you’ll be shocked at how much of it you get in return.

Myth Buster: Is sweating the only way to burn calories?

A: No—and you might be surprised at how many calories you can burn by working consistently at a lower level of intensity, where you’re not sweating profusely.

The fact is, you’re burning calories all the time, even when you’re asleep. Those calories come from a combination of fat and carbs. The fat-to-carb ratio changes according to what your body needs, but the difference between a “fat-burning zone” and an “instant-energy carb zone” is less than you might think.

Here’s the deal: if you want to release weight, it’s not about where those calories come from, but how many you burn overall. So, the more active you are during your day, whether it’s a super-sweaty spin class, a challenging yoga session, or a climb up your office stairs, you’re still burning calories.  Check out these numbers:

*Average calories burned for an average hour Pilates or Tai Chi class: 200-250 cal

*Average calories for an average hour of jogging (not sprinting) 400-500 

If we do some simple math, we realize that there’s no difference, in calories at least, between 5 days of a medium intensity exercise, such as Pilates, Yoga, Tai Chi, or weight training, and 3 days of jogging. Now, jogging for an hour is more than most of us want or need to do, so create an ideal mix for yourself between lower and higher intensity exercise.

The key to really burning calories and releasing weight?  Consistent exercise and good food choices.

 

 

Keith Paine Performs at Rockwood Music Hall

Live Thursday 9/17 @ Rockwood Music Hall

Join the Nimble community at the venerable Rockwood Music Hall for a bluesy acoustic set– Featuring my good friends Scott E Moore, soul singer and guitar player, and keys man Rob Clores, recently off the road with the Black Crowes. We’ll be joined of course by Malcom Gold on bass and Chris Benelli on percussion.

Time: 7:00 - 8:00pm (party to follow)
Where: Rockwood Music Hall / 196 Allen Street (just below Houston), New York City
For more info and to check out the music, please go to www.keithpaine.com

The $5 cardio machine that really works!

WHY MEDITATE?

Meditation is a word that is loaded with resonance in our society. Say “meditation” and it conjures images of some enlightened yogi in a cave, levitating off the floor. Meditating seems impossible—like a dreamlike state of nirvana—so many of us reject it out of hand. We say, “I can’t do that” or “Why bother, it’s a waste of time to try.”

Why meditate? One good answer is to relieve stress. In our society, stress can be an ever-present partner, both a reaction to our environment and a response to our hectic lives. Stress affects us mentally and physiologically. The crazy thing about stress is that 90% of the stress we feel doesn’t affect us in real time–it’s about something that is going to happen or something that has already happened. It’s the reason that meditating using your breath is such an effective tool for relieving stress. Meditation is nothing more than the act of being totally present.

If meditation seems beyond your reach, I’d answer by saying that the truth is you’ve already meditated–many, many times. If you’ve ever lost yourself in a movie or a concert, you’ve done it. If you’ve ever been present at the birth of a child, a close friend’s wedding, or any other truly important event, you’ve connected to that place where there is no past, no future, and no worries–just an intense appreciation of now. It’s not something new you need to learn, it is something that you already do!

Meditation, at its essence, is simplicity itself: stop and focus on your own breath, anytime, anyplace. By simply focusing on your breath, you’re turning off your mind’s spin cycle of thoughts, worries, and errands. You’ll feel your breath start to slow down and even out. You’ll feel your breath move in your body, dropping from your shoulders down through your rib cage into your body’s power center, just below your navel. You’ll start to have new awareness of what’s happening around you. You’ll feel better! By focusing on your breath, you’re also naturally tapping into the parasympathetic part of your Autonomic Nervous System, the part that helps you rest and repair. It is always available to you. That’s meditation—that’s all!

Keith Paine

FLEX THOSE CREATIVE MUSCLES

How often do you find time to work on your creative side? It’s not the easiest thing to do. Our lives are often consumed with day-to-day tasks and results-driven work. Time has become perhaps our most valuable commodity, as workdays become longer and vacation time shrinks. We spend most of our time reacting—to deadlines, demands, emails, texts and other stresses of modern life.

Making space for your creative self to emerge is an essential part of keeping balance and a sense of inner harmony. You’re giving free reign to an important part of who you are—your deeper, subconscious self.  You’re tapping into what’s often called the right brain, that part of you that makes new connections, that knows instead of thinks, that sees the whole picture instead of analyzing the parts. We all have the natural ability to tap into that self, but not many of us have had the experience of doing it on a consistent basis.  It’s a beautifully altered state—creating instead of reacting, free-flowing instead of analyzing.  You’ll discover abilities that you didn’t know you have. And you’ll feel the results of practicing creativity in every area of your life.

There’s really no limits, just self-expression. In essence, there’s no difference between building a chair, riding a wave, knitting a sweater or writing a song. It’s the same process at work. In that process is liberation—an opportunity to be your truest self.  And if you’re being your truest self, make it whatever you want it to be. Don’t self-edit so much, and don’t worry about results.  Enjoy the process! The journey is the reward.